i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
they need to just BURY HIM!
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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