im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
