K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
