I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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