Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize