I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
