and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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