i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
it's like iHOP with fire
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
