where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
