I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
