thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
