bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
