I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
