How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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