maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize