you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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