I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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