Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
