a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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