...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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