I want to have your abortion
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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