Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
