I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She just used a chaser for red wine.
my shit smells like andre
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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