But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
