At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
