Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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