We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
