Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I could fuck to npr.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
