apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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