you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
