i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
high people should be assigned attendants
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
