Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
