you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
