You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
