Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He has the fingertips of a God
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
