we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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