what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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