Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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