dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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