shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
