it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
