is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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