So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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