Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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