your parents love me but you hate me
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I have aggressive nipples.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
