she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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