When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize