Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
