Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
