is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
