There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
