Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
