When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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