FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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