I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
