Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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