I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
