I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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