YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize