I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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